兔子窝窝

因为文化背景不同，不同国籍的人们表达爱的方式也截然不同——法国人的浪漫，中国人的柔情(sentiment)，美国人的坦率。你究竟喜欢哪一种类型的爱，而爱情的哲学究竟是怎样的？是否就像文中笔者提到的那样——如果爱，管它呢？相信各位读者心中自有评判。

谈到恋爱的文化差异，一位感情经验丰富的朋友曾恰当地将其归纳为：“法国人天性浪漫，而中国人柔情似水。”When discussing cultural differences in love, a friend (who has ample experience) once summed it up nicely: "The French are romantic while the Chinese are sentimental." 

我认为这位朋友所言极是。16岁那年夏天，在法国学习的我爱上了19岁的法国邻居。确切说我是“喜欢”上了他，但他那与生俱来的浪漫举止以及戏剧化的语言——总是呢喃着“爱情，爱情”,都让我在这第一段法国恋情中不能自拔。 I can't think of a better way to put it. When I was 16, studying in France for the summer, I fell in love with my 19-year-old French neighbor. Actually I fell in "like", but his sweeping romantic gestures and dramatic language – tossing "amour, amour" around all the time – whirled me up in my first French "love" affair.

他的英文马马虎虎，我的法语也好不到哪去。但我却清楚地知道，他随笔写下的华丽诗句以及与我四目相接时，故作镇定地道出的那些呢喃细语，如若换成其他的语言，一定会变得庸俗不堪。 His English was patchy and my French was only slightly better, but I could comprehend that the flowery lines of poetry he scribbled and the phrases he breathed while looking into my eyes intensely and managing to keep a straight face were things that would be simplycheesy in any other language.

可惜那时的我还年轻，这种浪漫的新鲜感使我欣喜不已，以至于忽略了一些小细节。比如：一整个夏天，他从未请我看过电影；我离开后，他也未曾给我打电话或写信。简陋的乡间小屋，荒芜的花园，爱人的承诺——在今后的漫长岁月里，我都将“出现在他的梦中”，我的第一段法国恋情就这样戛然而止了。 Alas, I was young and excited by the romantic novelty, so I overlooked the little things. Like how he never offered to buy my movie ticket all summer long, nor did he bother to call or write after I left. My first French love affair ended quite abruptly after an over-the-top goodbye scene, complete with rustic country house, overgrown garden, and my lover's promises that for a "longtemps" he would see me "walking through his dreams".

随着年龄的增长，我发现自己对这种浪漫的恋情已经提不起兴趣，却更加渴望中国人细微的柔情。一个“中国好男人”是不会用花言巧语来哄骗女人的。近十年来，对于"dear", "honey" and "love"这些爱称，他仍会觉得浑身不自在，认为这些词语过于小资、无趣且不合实际。但是中国男人会注重很多细节，并为之尽心尽力。 When I got older, I found myself losing interest in this kind of romantic flair and craving the subtle sentiment of the Chinese. A "good Chinese man" is not one for words. Until this decade, he shuddered at words like "dear", "honey" and "love", finding them bourgeois and vapidly unrealistic. But a Chinese man will work on the little things. He will work hard.

大学时，我男朋友是中国人。一次，我在睡前倒了一杯水放在床头柜上，他看到后便充满歉意地对我说，“抱歉，这些事情本该由我来做。” My college Chinese boyfriend once saw me fill a glass of water to keep on the night stand before going to bed and remorsefully told me, "I'm sorry, it should be my job to take care of these things."

在他看来，作为他的女友，我不需要为自己的舒适而劳神，尤其是像倒水这样的小事。虽然我的中国男友从不擅长做出浪漫的承诺，但每一次他送我去机场，我们分别的时候，他都会塞给我一个厚厚的信封，里面写了很多有趣的故事，只为了让我可以在旅途中心情愉快。 He meant that as his girl, I shouldn't have to look after my own comfort, especially not on a small thing like hydration. My Chinese boyfriend was never good at making romantic promises, but each time he took me to the airport he would put a thick envelop in my hand as we said goodbye. On the plane, I would open it up to find funny stories he had written to keep me entertained on board.

很多年里，我的中国男友用无数细小的温柔培育着我们的爱情，比如在寒冷的日子他会骑车去买热水袋，只为了让我在冰冷的图书馆里学习时可以取暖。 For years, my Chinese boyfriend nurtured our love with his countless small tenderness, like biking out on a cold day to buy a hot water bottle that kept me warm when I studied in the cold library.

法式浪漫与中式柔情的鲜明对比让我忍不住思考——美国人又是怎样经营爱情的呢？我想，用坦率的实用主义来形容它再合适不过了。 This contrast between French romance and Chinese sentiment makes me wonder – what then is the American approach to love? I can best describe it as a straightforward kind of pragmatism.

我的美国男友曾问我，“为什么我要给你倒一杯水？你怎么不自己动手呢？” My American boyfriend asked me, "Why should I get you a glass of water? Why don't you get it yourself?"

但是这种介于浪漫与柔情之间，“废话少说”的爱情也有许多好的地方。 But there are plenty of good things about this "no BS" kind of love that is in between romance and sentiment.

一个美国男人不会信誓旦旦地向你保证，每晚都会梦到你穿过一片罂粟花海；他也不会在你有生之年，心甘情愿地为你倒水喝；但他会站在你身边，并坚定不移地以坦率的方式让你感到快乐。 An American man won't pledge to dream of you walking through a field of poppies every night, nor is he eager to jump on fetching your water for as long as you are alive, but he will stick by your side and try in earnest to make you happy in his straightforward way.

最后，这些都是不同国家背景下的不同行为；萝卜青菜，各有所爱。找到归宿之前，我经历了不同国度的爱情。那时，我的好朋友总是建议我，“开心就好。” In the end, it's different strokes for different folks and to each his own. When I was living my global love experiment before finding my husband, my good friend often advised me, "Just do what makes you happy."

对极了，浪漫，柔情也好，实用主义也罢，如果那会让你高兴的话，那么就随它去吧。生活着，恋爱着，快乐着！ True enough, whether it's romance, sentiment, or pragmatism, just go with whatever floats your boat. Live, love, and be happy!

Marjorie Baer used to joke about her retirement plans. She wasn't married and had no kids, but she didn't intend to be alone—she and all her single friends would move into a fictional home she called Casa de Biddies. Instead, Baer developed terminal brain cancer when she was 52. But just as she'd hoped, her friends and family provided her with love and care to the end.

Baer's friends Lee Ballance and Mary Selkirk were walking their dog one afternoon in July 2006 when they saw an ambulance in front of her house. Baer had had a seizure and collapsed. Ballance, a physician, hopped in his car and followed the ambulance to the hospital to be at Baer's side while doctors tried to figure out what was going on. When they did, the news wasn't good: She had glioblastoma multiforme, a particularly aggressive form of brain cancer.

Ballance was only the first of Baer's friends who became her unofficial caregivers. Until her brother Phil Baer put his marriage and work in Los Angeles on hold to care for his sister during her final weeks, they cobbled together a system to watch over their friend and allow her to keep some of the privacy and independence she cherished.

Baer's good friend Ruth Henrich took the lead. That seemed natural: Henrich, then 58, and Baer both worked in publishing and lived in the same duplex. Though busy in her job as an associate managing editor at salon.com, Henrich took Baer to doctors' appointments and helped her deal with all the aspects of life that were becoming increasingly mysterious to her—answering machines, TV controls, and even phone numbers. After Henrich sent out an e-mail request, a group of volunteers signed up to ferry Baer back and forth to radiation therapy. Others in Baer's circle offered up particular talents: A nurse friend helped Baer figure out how to get what she was due from Social Security and her disability insurance; an attorney pal helped Baer with her will; a buddy who was an accountant took over her bills when she could no longer manage them. "There was this odd sense that the right person always showed up," says Ballance.

Not that it was easy. "I had to know at all times who was going to be there and anticipate what Marjorie would need next, so it was always on my mind," says Henrich. "It was something I wanted to do, but it also never went away." Still, their jury-rigged arrangement worked remarkably well. Even as Baer lost the ability to read and write and engage in conversation over the course of the year, she was able to continue to live on her own, walk to the market, take the subway to painting classes, and even fly to Iowa by herself to visit her brother Tom and his family.

"She was a generous person," says another friend, Elizabeth Whipple, "and it came back to her in truckloads."

Unmarried women are one of the fastest-growing demographic groups in America, and increasing numbers of men are remaining single, too; experts are concerned about how caregiving will be managed for both groups as they age. If the experience of Baer's friends is a guide, the Internet will play a role. It's already making it possible to create communities of caregivers who may have only one thing in common: the person who needs their help. On personal "care pages" set up through services such as Lotsa Helping Hands, friends and family members can post a list of tasks that need to be done, volunteer to do them, and keep updated on the person's condition. As Baer's cancer progressed, for example, her friends set up a page on Yahoo! where people could sign up to deliver meals or do errands.

Eventually, their help wasn't enough. One morning, a year after Baer's diagnosis, Henrich checked in before work and found Baer on the floor. Though she wore a panic button on a chain around her neck, she hadn't used it. "I don't know how long she had been there," Henrich says.

That was when Baer's brother Phil stepped in. He and Tom had taken turns earlier making trips to Berkeley to care for their sister; now Phil, who lived in Los Angeles, took leave from his job as head of air-conditioning and heating at CBS Studio Center—and from his understanding wife, Joyce—to care for Baer full-time. "There was just no question in my mind that I would do anything I could, including switch places with Marjorie," he says. "It made me realize how much I loved her."

For the next few weeks, Phil looked after her during the day. He oversaw the nighttime caregivers and consulted with the hospice workers who assisted with medical issues and helped him prepare for Baer's death. But even then, his sister's loyal friends were irreplaceable, he says, providing both practical and emotional sustenance.

Several of Baer's friends were there when she died. "We were all trying to help ease her passing," says Whipple. "Phil put his hands on her chest, and she let go."

Catherine Fox, one of the friends who was present when Baer died, was deeply affected. "It was so comforting to know that if you're willing to ask for help, the generosity of family and friends can be phenomenal. It makes me feel secure and hopeful to know that help is there when you need it."

马乔里拜尔用来开玩笑，她退休计划。她没有结婚，也没有孩子，但她不打算孤独，她和她的单身朋友们将进入一个虚构的家里，她叫之家Biddies。相反，贝尔开发晚期脑癌当她52岁。但是，正如她所希望，她的朋友和家人提供的爱和关怀，到最后她。

贝尔的朋友李巴伦斯和玛丽塞尔是他们的狗散步2006年7月1下午，当他们看到了在她家门前救护车。贝尔不得不扣押和崩溃。巴伦斯，医生在他跳上车，并跟随救护车到医院将在贝尔的一侧，而医生揣摩发生了什么事情。当他们做的不好的消息：她胶质母细胞瘤，脑肿瘤的特别凶猛的形式。

巴伦斯仅仅是贝尔的朋友谁成了她的第一个非官方的照顾。直到她的弟弟菲尔贝尔把他的婚姻和在洛杉矶工作期间举行的最后几个星期，她照顾他的妹妹，他们拼凑起来的一个系统，监视他们的朋友，让她对身边的隐私和独立，她抱有。

贝尔的好朋友露丝亨利希率先。这似乎是自然的：亨利希，当时58岁，贝尔都在出版工作和在同一双面生活。虽然工作繁忙，她作为一个在salon.com副主编，亨里奇了巴尔医生的任用，并帮助所有方面的生活变得越来越神秘的她，应答机，电视控制，甚至她的电话号码处理。经过亨利希发出了电子邮件请求，一组志愿者签署了渡轮贝尔来回放射治疗。在贝尔的圈子其他特殊人才提供了：一个护士朋友帮助贝尔弄清楚如何让她从社会保障和她的残疾保险到期;律师好朋友帮她贝尔将，一个好友谁是会计师，在她参加的法案当她再也管理。 “有这个奇怪的感觉，正确的人总是表现了，”巴伦斯。

不是很容易。 “我知道，在任何时候谁去那里，预计将需要什么马乔下，在我的脑海，所以总是说：”亨利希。 “这是我想做的事，但也从来没有离开过。”不过，他们的陪审团，操纵安排运作非常好。尽管贝尔失去了能够读取和写入，并在谈话中对参与这一年中，她能够继续自己的生活，步行到市场，乘地铁到绘画班，甚至飞往艾奥瓦州的她访问她的兄弟汤姆和他的家人。

“她是一个慷慨的人”，另一位朋友，伊丽莎白惠普尔“，并回到她的卡车。”

未婚女性是美国增长最快的人口群体之一，越来越多的男子是保持单身，也;专家们关于如何照料将两个组的管理，因为他们的年龄有关。如果贝尔的朋友经验指导，因特网将发挥作用。它已经使我们能够创建社区照顾谁可能只有一个共同点：人谁需要他们的帮助。在个人“照顾页”设置通过服务，例如Lotsa援助之手，朋友和家庭成员可以张贴需要做的，他们做志愿者的任务列表，并保持该人的情况更新。正如贝尔癌症的进展，例如，她的朋友们建立了一个雅虎网页！在那里人们可以注册送饭菜或做杂事。

最终，他们的帮助是不够的。这天早上，贝尔的诊断一年，亨里奇在检查工作前，发现地上贝尔。虽然她戴着一脖子链恐慌按钮，她没有使用它。 “我不知道多久，她曾经在那里，”亨里奇说。

那是在贝尔的弟弟菲尔英寸，他和汤姆加强较早前已作出轮流前往伯克利照顾自己的妹妹，现在菲尔，谁住在洛杉矶，离开了他作为负责人，空气调节和哥伦比亚广播公司供热工作室中心和妻子从他的理解，乔伊斯，照顾贝尔全职。 “我们只是没有在脑海里，我想我可以做任何事情，包括与马乔里来回切换位置的问题，”他说。 “这使我意识到我是多么爱她。”

在接下来的几个星期，菲尔照顾她白天。他负责监督1980年成立，并与谁协助医疗问题，并帮助他善终工人咨询准备贝尔的死亡。但即便如此，他姐姐的忠实朋友们不可替代的，他说，同时提供实际和情感寄托。

在贝尔的几个朋友在那里，她死了。 “我们都在努力，以帮助减轻她的传球，”惠普尔说。 “菲尔放在她胸前的手，她放手。”

凯瑟琳福克斯的朋友谁是贝尔去世时在场之一，深刻影响。 “就这样安慰的是，如果你愿意寻求帮助，家庭和朋友的慷慨，可显着。这让我感到安全和充满希望知道，帮助有需要时。”

     从高中升入大学，是一个巨大的飞跃，同时也是一个极大的挑战。因为大学里强调的是自主学习，很多知识需要靠自己主动去获取。这十条建议对你的大学生活很有帮助。

Here are 10 tips to help you create a productive and memorable college experience.

 
    下面是关于如何建立一个有成效的、值得回忆的大学生活的十条小建议。

1. Answer the question, "Why am I going to college?"

   回答问题：“我为什么要上大学？”

Many college students really don't have a clear reason for being there other than the fact that they don't know what else to do yet.  They inherit goals from family and peers which aren't truly their own.
What are you there to learn?  What do you want to experience?

很多大学生对于上大学都没有明确的原因，除了一个事实——不知道还有其它的事可以做。他们的目标不是出于内心而是根植于家庭以及同伴。你在这里学什么？你想要经历体验什么？

2. Imagine your ideal college experience.

    想象你的大学生活
Once you know why you're going to university, imagine your ideal outcome.  Whether you've already started university or not, stop and simply write down some attributes of your ideal experience. Describe it in as much detail as you can. Real life will of course turn out differently than you visualize.  The point of visualization is to give you more clarity for making decisions right now.

一旦明确了上大学的目的，就想象一下最完美的结局。无论你是否已经开始了你的大学生活，停会儿，把你的一些完美畅想的特点都简单地写下来。尽可能地描述详细。真实的生活当然会不同于你的想象。但想象的关键在于可以帮助你现在更好地做决定。

 3. Take at least one extra class each semester.

     每学期至少要报一门选修课
The real benefit to a dense schedule isn't that you'll graduate sooner.  The real benefit is that you'll enjoy a richer experience.  This sort of thing sure looks great on a resume.

紧凑的学习计划的真正好处不是你能很快毕业。真正的好处是你可以享受一个更丰富的经历。而且这也会给你的简历锦上添花。

4. Set clear goals for each class.

    每个课程都确立目标
Decide what you want out of each specific class. Sometimes you'll achieve your goals; sometimes you won't.  Even if you do your best, you may still fall short. You'll have to pick your battles.  Some are worth fighting; others are best ignored.

考虑决定好你想从每个课程里得到什么。有时你会达到你的目标，有时不会。尽管你尽力了，但你有可能仍然失败。你要选择你的战场。有些值得战斗，有些完全可以忽略。

5. Triage ruthlessly.

     有所取舍
You don't need to put an equal amount of effort into every class.  Inject extra effort when it's important to you, but feel free to back off a little from classes that are a low priority based on your specific goals.

你无须对每一个课程都付出同样的努力。重要的课程可以多加把劲，但对于那些对你的目标无足轻重的课程可以松懈一点。

6. Get an early start to each day.

   一天之计在于晨
Getting an early start each day helped you get a lot more done, not just in the morning but throughout the day.

每天早起对你益处很多，不仅仅是早晨而是一整天。

7. Reclaim wasted time during your classes. 充分利用课堂时间
Not every class is going to require your utmost concentration. Sometimes teachers babble.  Sometimes they reiterate what you already know. If a class is really challenging, sit in the front and soak up every word.  But if a class isn't challenging you, then sit in the back, do homework for other classes, and pop your head up every once in a while to see if there's anything worth jotting down.

不是每一节课都需要你全神贯注。有时老师只是在东扯西拉，有时只是在重复你已经知道的东西。如果这节课很有意思，那么坐在前面，仔细听每一个字。如果很无聊，那么坐在后面完成其它学科的家庭作业吧。当然，每隔一会要抬头听听是不是有什么值得记下来。

8. Learn material the very first time it's presented.

    拒绝重复学习
One of the biggest time wasters in school is having to relearn something you didn't learn properly the first time.  When students say they're studying, most of the time they're making up for a previous failure to learn the material.

学校里最大的一个时间浪费就是不断重新学习你在第一次没有完全掌握的东西。学生们说他们在学习时大部分的时间都是在重复以前的错误。

9. Master advanced memory techniques. 科学记忆
One of the keys to learning material the first time is to train yourself in advanced memory techniques. I don't recommend memorizing by repetition because it's way too slow.

学习的关键之一就是掌握科学的记忆方法。不推荐重复记忆，因为太没有效率了。

10. Have some serious fun!

     享受生活更多信息请访问：http://www.24en.com/
Challenge yourself academically, but give yourself plenty of time for fun as well.  Don't squander your leisure time hanging around doing nothing.

学业上要努力，但也要给自己充足的娱乐时间。别在业余时间无所事事。

1. Happiness takes no account of time.
欢乐不觉时光过。

2. Virtue is her own reward.
为善最乐。

3. Small gains bring great wealth.
小益聚大财，薄利成巨富。

4. Suspicion is the poison of true friendship.
猜疑伤害莫逆之交。

5. Speed is the soldier's asset.
兵贵神速。

6. Sweet discourse makes short days and nights.
言语投机恨时短。

7. Soft words butter no parsnips.
画饼充饥。

8. Set a thief to catch a thief.
以毒攻毒。

9. Well fed, wed bred.
衣食足，知荣辱。

10. Laugh at your ills, and save doctors' bills.
生病不忧虑，节省医药费。

11. Sloth is the key of poverty.
惰能致贫。

12. Among the blind the one eyed man is the king.
山中无老虎，猴子称大王。

13. To err is human.
犯错是人之常情。/ 人谁无过。

14. You can't judge a book by its cover.
不能以外表来判断本质。/ 不要以貌取人。

15. Gut no fish till you get them.
勿操之过急　
 

也许一直以来我都是最傻的那个

第一次那么做被不少人骂

而我

竟然又做了一次

呵呵

无所谓了吧

我也分不清我到底是做了好人还是做了傻瓜

心存善念并不一定是好事情

决定了这个月结束我的这一段工作生活

新的一年

我首先要给自己好好放个长假

考试

然后可能会去某个地方

然后回家

然后再回来

学习 工作

重新开始

感谢一些人给我机会

教我知识

但是做人

我还是坚持自己

世俗的险恶和黑暗也无法磨灭我心中尚存的一丝光明

生活还是很美好滴~~~~

抬头望天

冬日里的暖阳

经过冰封才能更好的释放自己的能量

去冬眠吧

做一只冬眠的兔子

梳理好自己的毛

清理好自己的爪

重新开始